Kamusta boys and girls,
For today’s blog post is about my writing!
Do you remember the notes I wrote about my writing? If you didn’t please go and check it out. And if you did,
Here is further info about it.
Do you like it so far? Comment down what you think and please be honest!
Wow! I do remember your planning from yesterday and what an incredible narrative you have created here Zahina.
ReplyDeletePowerful writing techniques you have used are: description, similes, details, adjectives and strong verbs. ( zoomed, like a cheetah, despite, fortunately) Another thing you have done very well is to clearly describe each detail in sequence which allows the reader to create a 'mind movie' of what is going on in your narrative.
Next step:
The part where Layla disappears is confusing because the reader doesn't have enough information. You can extend this by using dialogue to show that Layla is being kidnapped. (Eg. 'Let go of me! Hey!' Shouted Layla.)
The following problem where her friends race like cheetahs can also be extended to show that Layla is not with them anymore. You could also use dialogue here. ( eg. 'Where has Layla gone?' 'We need to call the police!' )
I hope this helps!
Kind regards,
Miss D